Sunday, December 31, 2006

Vol 551 - Dec 31, 2006 - New Year's Resolutions for Pets

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

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Strange "Father Time" Quotes:

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Hector Berlioz

Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time. - Margaret Bonnano

Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. - Jorge Louis Borges

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them. - Dion Boucicault

Oh Time! the beautifier of the dead, adorer of the ruin, comforter and only healer when the heart hath bled... Time, the avenger! - Lord Byron

One life - a little gleam of Time between two Eternities. - Thomas Carlyle

Take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves. - Lord Chesterfield

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - New Year's Resolutions for Pets


New Year's Resolutions for Pets

1. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.

2. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

3. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.

4. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.

5. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

6. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on 'roids, or they'll flush my ass.

7. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

8. Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.

9. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

10. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.

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