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Strange Quotes:

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound." - Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." - Anonymous Manufacturer

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." - Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails." - AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there." - Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." - Bill Peterson, football coach

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - The Official Moron Test

The Official Moron Test

1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?

3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?

4. How many outs are there in an inning?

5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?

6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?

7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?

8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?

9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?

10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark?

11. A butcher in the market is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?

12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?

13. What was the President's name in 1960?

Here are the answers:

1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No?
...Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
....One (1). You can only be born once.

3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
....Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days.

4. How many outs are there in an inning?
... Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to every inning.

5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?
...No. He must be dead if it is his widow.

6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?
.... Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60.

7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?
.Two (2). You take two apples, therefore YOU have TWO apples.

8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?
.....One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only one hour has passed.

9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?
.... Nine (9). Like I said, all BUT nine die.

10. How many animals of each sex did Moses have on the ark?
..... None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark.

11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10 tall. What does he weigh?
.... Meat ... that is self-explanatory.

12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
..Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen? Twelve. It's a dozen.

13. What was the President's name in 1960?
..Georgw W. Bush. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name.

So, how did we do?

13 correct.........GENIUS...you are good.

10-12 correct....ABOVE AVERAGE...but don't let it go to your head.

7-9 correct........AVERAGE...but who wants to be average?

4-6 correct..........SLOW...pay attention to the questions!

1-3 correct..........IDIOT...what else can be said?

0 correct......CONGRATULATIONS, you are a certified MORON!

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - Strange Products - Gimmicks - Items - Inventions

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/category/100475_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

After 6 Years, Navy Captain Gets Parking Ticket Justice - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/122083.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - Strange Products - Gimmicks - Items - Inventions

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